Hello dear ones who still come here to read my blog,
I didn’t realize it had been quite so long since my last post. Thank you for your kind comments, and your thoughts and prayers, your words have meant so much to me. I want you to know that your words are the reason I am here tonight, staying up past my bedtime, so I can write this. The three of us are home, safe and sound. We’ve been on the road, and are all glad to be home again. First we were in California for Stitches West. Jeff was not fully recovered when we left for California, so we did our best to move more gently in the world and keep our trip as mellow as possible for him. I wanted to keep our booth set up more simple as well, and we didn’t bring our lights like we normally do. (Jeff and I both agreed, lesson learned- the lighting really is so important.)
I was holding up well for the first two days of our show, wanting to be the strong one for our family, but on the afternoon of the third day I got a debilitating migraine, and I felt really awful on Sunday (the fourth, and last, day.) I felt so frustrated with the limitations of my body as I had to lay under our table for awhile, and Jeff kept everything going in our booth. I was thinking ‘but I’m supposed to be the strong one right now.’ I felt like I had failed. But of course Jeff didn’t see it that way and did everything he could to help me feel better. I’ve been noticing how much the two of us like to do all the things we want to do and how challenging it is for us when we feel incapable of doing that. Physical limitations can be so frustrating, can’t they?
We started the drive back on Monday and had plans to stay with my dad and stepmom that night, but got stuck in California for another night due to snow storms, which was quite a surprise. I still didn’t feel well that day, but thought I must still be recovering from what I thought was just a really terrible migraine. On Tuesday we managed to make it home through a magical window of clear weather, before more storms blew through. And when we got home that night I felt so awful, and then the boy started feeling awful too, that I knew we had a bug. (Which I thought was a bad cold at first.) Jeff stocked us up with groceries and got what we needed in town the next day, being the rock to keep everything going around here.
And then on the day I started to feel functional again, Jeff came down with the flu (yep, it was a flu) and felt terrible. So it was my turn to be the strong one. And I thought about how that ebbs and flows between us. No one can be the strong one all the time. Sometimes I’m the strong one, and sometimes he’s the strong one. Ideally when one of us is worn down, the other one is the opposite and steps in with support. I know single parents, and I have so much respect for everything they do alone each day because even as a team it is a challenge for Jeff and I to keep up with everything in our life and his daily support means the world to me. He has been there with encouragement and love at the times I’ve felt the most weak and vulnerable, and that is such a gift to have someone be there like that, isn’t it?
After our trip to California, we headed to Portland for the Rose City Yarn Crawl. My family, still recovering, hung out in the hotel room and I spent two days at Knotty Lamb yarn shop for a trunk show. They’ve been carrying our buttons in their shop for awhile now and I was so glad for the opportunity to finally go to their shop, and to see Forest Grove for the first time. I met new people, and saw some familiar faces, and appreciated connecting with the Portland fiber community.
…And then our family was so happy to return home. It’s been a rough winter for us, friends. Physically and emotionally exhausting, and challenging on many levels. But we’re hanging in there, and we’ve had some absolutely beautiful days here this week. As I’ve paused to listen to the birds singing and savor the feeling of the sun on my face, it feels like spring is just around the corner. And I, for one, am ready for it.
P.S. Oh, and the picture? As I was cleaning out our truck from our recent travels, I found this piece of paper tucked into the door, from our drive down to California. The boy kept a tally of the palm trees, tumble weeds, and hawks we saw. Looking at it made me smile so much. Even though Jeff and I keep so much artwork from our boy it’s astounding, that sweet little note is one I won’t be able to throw out, it’s precious to me.
P.P.S. I felt a little teary reading some of your comments about how much this space means to you, and I can’t begin to say how much it means to me when you take the time to say that. I’m grateful if anything that I say can be uplifting in any way or bring peace to your days. We could all use more peace, couldn’t we? I’m sorry for your worry because of my absence writing here! I’ve had so much on my plate that blogging has fallen by the wayside a bit, but believe me that I miss writing here whenever there’s a break.