Whew. Deep breathe. I gotta remind myself that these days. Our pace has been so fast lately. The to-do list seems like it’s never ending. I feel like I can be going, going, going all day every day and still not get it done. Our days are full with so many things that I love, yet at a crazy pace this time of year brings for us. Friday we got our booth structure set up. Saturday morning I was finishing hats on the drive to market and then we were getting things all set up when we got there. Bracken and I ran errands in the morning, then walked around the market and farmer’s market, eating in between. It was a full day and it felt good to be back at the Holiday Market. It was also a whirlwind day and though part of me wanted to go back on Sunday, I knew I needed to catch my breath a bit.

Last week Jeff said something along the lines of: “you need to learn to relax.” He wasn’t saying it in a mean way, but in a caring way while seeing me so stressed out. But the one thing you don’t want to hear when you are completely stressed out is for someone to tell you to relax. Am I right? (Even though I really needed it.) Yes, I was a flusterball last week. (A word my mom and I made up that means a combination of overwhelmed, stressed out, and well, flustered.) I’ve been snappy here and there, saying things in a sassy way when I don’t really mean them that way. Or saying things I’ve wanted to take back, thinking ‘that’s not the kind of parent I want to be. Or wife. Or person for that matter.’ The truth is, I do have a hard time handling stress sometimes. I have a hard time relaxing sometimes. (The obvious answer is more knitting time, of course!) I want to be zen about it all. If there’s such thing as a zen flusterball, than I’m part way there. Ha!

Jeff did the Holiday Market on Sunday while Bracken and I stayed home. Jeff doesn’t mind doing the market alone, it’s actually easier that way sometimes. I needed the time at home to get ready for our trip. Though it was still a really busy day, it was busy in a different way. I did laundry, I hauled firewood and chicken feed, I did dishes, I made food, I started packing my suitcase, I packaged up orders and I cleaned and cleaned some more. But I still had time to say “yes” when Bracken asked me to see his mud pies he was making in the yard. And to give my full attention when he said he wanted to give me a lesson on how to make mud pies and teach me what to do. We read some books together, but I still wasn’t able to slow down with him as much as I wanted to. Soon. That night Jeff was able to come home to a warm house and dinner and I was able to feel a little more ready for my week.

This morning was filled with more packing (Bracken filled his suitcase with socks and then said the only other thing he needed was tangerines and he’d be all set), more cleaning, more packaging up orders. This week Bracken and I will be leaving to go with my mom to Wyoming to visit my sister and brother in law. Every year we are so busy with the Holiday Market that we keep our celebrations of Thanksgiving and Christmas really simple. It’s an important time of year for us, being self-employed, because we need to make enough money to pay our bills during the months when there is a break from the local market. Not to mention things like tires and car repairs. So it’s a time that we need to work hard and make the most of while we can. When my mom told me her plans for Thanksgiving this year, to visit my sister in Wyoming, I wanted to go so bad, but didn’t think there was any way I could. Could I? My mom said something like “if there’s any way you and Bracken could come, I’ll fly you out there!” I said something to Jeff and he said “go!” He said he was happy to do the three day market weekend alone and that we should go while we had the opportunity. Bless his heart. I felt a bit guilty, leaving during such a busy time, but he was so encouraging (and having some work time alone with no distractions will probably be nice for him.) So I said yes and my mom booked our flight. She told me that they did the math and the last time my sister, mom, and I were all together for a holiday was seven years ago. So this is going to be very special. I’ve been busy getting caught up on work as much as possible so I can leave it all behind and fully enjoy myself there. I’m really looking forward to spending quality time with family and taking a bit of a step back from the whirlwind of our life right now. I’m also looking forward to having more time to slow down with Bracken. The busier our life is and the faster the pace, the more he needs my energy and attention and the harder it is for me to give it. I will also be taking a break from this space for part of this week. I absolutely love writing here and I actually find writing to be very therapeutic and relaxing, but we’ll be having some busy days of traveling and I want to spend my time with my family, enjoying them and savoring it all.

Wishing you a week filled with giving thanks, wherever you are and however you’re celebrating!

.

P.S. Oh yeah, and the pictures. We’ve been letting the chickens out in the garden for clean up duty. They are so happy when they are freed from their boring yard (no matter how big of a yard we give them they just turn it to dirt.) Yesterday we didn’t let them out and I heard Bracken talking to his chickens and saying “sorry chickens.” We let them out today. When Bracken opens the gate, he has just as much delight as the chickens do. I can see them scratching out the window while I write this. Happy chickens makes us all happy.