Bracken and I have been going to speech therapy once a week and I’ve been meaning to write about it here for awhile. I wrote here before about Bracken’s words when he was two. At that time we knew his speech was a bit behind most of his friends. We decided to let things unfold in their own time. He was still so young and that’s what felt right to us at the time. Plus his friend had been very similar with his speech and then suddenly his words got clearer practically overnight. So we waited. As time went on though, things changed. Many toddler tantrums were centered around his frustration with his speech and communication. Once we felt it was affecting the quality of his life, that’s when we decided to try something different. We got a doctor’s referral and went for an evaluation at the Eugene Hearing and Speech Center. They diagnosed him with speech articulation disorder. They also said there was a possibility that he had something called apraxia of speech. It would have taken much more testing to determine if that was the case and they said it wasn’t necessary at that point because the treatment would be the same either way: speech therapy once a week. We were told that if he did have apraxia of speech that progress would be much slower and that it could be a lifelong challenge for him.
Bracken played with toys while the adults talked. I kept it together through the consultation and on the ride home. When Bracken fell asleep that night, though, I finally let myself cry. I didn’t want to cry in front of him, for him to worry or be upset about anything. When we started speech therapy, I wanted it to feel like a fun and lighthearted thing for him. But when I was alone, I let it out. I was overwhelmed by the news. Since apraxia of speech was something I had never heard of before, it felt big and scary and unknown to me. I hadn’t thought his speech challenges were that severe so I was really surprised by the news. I worried: Should we have brought him there sooner? (We were told we brought him in at a great time and if we had brought him in too young there wouldn’t have been as much they could do to help anyway.) What could have caused it? We didn’t know for sure he had apraxia of speech, it was a possibility, but I wanted to know more. With many questions in my mind, I immediately started researching. Once I learned more it wasn’t quite so scary. (Though I still have so much more to learn, so I won’t begin to try explaining it here yet.) Jeff wasn’t too worried about anything, he said that nothing had changed, only that we would be trying something new to help Bracken communicate.
So Bracken and I started going to speech therapy once a week. We started in September and I think we’ve had about seven sessions so far. Bracken gets to play with toys and games and listen to stories. I’m sitting right by him, participating and sometimes knitting a bit too. Most times Bracken doesn’t want to leave, he wants to keep playing with everything, but I tell him we’ll save more fun things for next time. Each week we have sounds and words we work on. I bring lists of words home with me to practice for the next week. Family asks Bracken “what words are you working on this week?” Sometimes Bracken was reluctant to focus on his speech or to try difficult words and he still is at times, but we keep gently working on it and I can feel him getting more comfortable about it. In the past we were mindful not to bring too much attention to his speech because we didn’t want to make him feel insecure and he seemed to get that way pretty easily. But things weren’t changing much. Now we’re gently working on it, making it feel like a family thing we all do together, and wanting it to feel fun and light. I remember how wonderful it felt when we were driving home one day and I could hear Bracken practicing, of his own accord, in the backseat because the sound we had been working on had been presented like a fun game and the approach was really effective with him.
There have been a few comments from friends and family saying that they’ve noticed improvements and can understand his speech a bit better since we started speech therapy. I was so happy to hear that and I have also noticed improvement. When I think about it, I realize we just started going last month and it already feels like we’ve made progress in that time. What I really appreciate about speech therapy is that now I feel like we have a direction, a focus. Before Jeff and I would watch Bracken’s frustration and not know how to help him. We didn’t want him to feel insecure, so we didn’t want to say too much, but we also wanted to know how to help. Now we work together on sounds and words. Now we have a better idea of what to do and how to help him. It feels good to have a direction now.
I am so proud to be Bracken’s mom. He is so bright and loving. So creative. So clever and intelligent. He brings joy to so many people. When I’ve seen his struggle to communicate something and how upset it’s made him, it breaks my heart every time. …And when someone understands just what he was trying to say, his whole face lights up and it makes me so happy. He understands what others are saying to him. He just has a hard time forming the words back. I understand the large majority of what he says, but sometimes I don’t. (Our speech therapist said I must be a mind reader and so many people have said to me “how did you understand that?”, to which all I can say is that we’re together so much that it’s just second nature and we do have a strong bond between us that I’m immensely grateful for.) When that happens, he gets more disappointed than with anyone else, because he expects me to understand more than anyone, and I feel so bad when I don’t. I feel like I’m letting him down at those times. I’ve been his constant translator, he asks me to tell others what he is saying all the time. I have to admit that it can be an exhausting job at times. But whenever I think that it’s hard for me sometimes, I think about how much harder it is for him. I can’t imagine how frustrating it can be for him. So I do my best to slow down, to look at him, to watch his mouth as he speaks, to take note of any signs or body language, and take the time to listen. I don’t always want to slow down, sometimes I’m in the middle of something or it’s the end of the day and I’m tired and I just don’t want to think anymore. But he needs me to do that and I want to understand what he has to say. He has so many beautiful things to communicate and share with the world and it’s my job to help him do just that.
Hi, I was reading a book and it made me think of your family. I thought I better leave you a comment about it. The book is called The Remarkable Nutritional Treatment for ADHD, Dyslexia & Dyspraxia The LCP Solution. This book talks about how all these people have a very high need for certain oils and they are not getting them it there diet, much less not really able to get enough in their diet to meet their needs unless maybe they are eating the diet of an Eskimo. They have done studies on a oil supplement called Efalex. It contains DHA, GLA, AA, thyme oil, and Vitamin E. This supplement had a very high success rate at helping people. It sounds as if it switches something on in the brain. There are success stories in the back of the book and a couple of them talked about how when they stopped the supplement, to see what would happen, that the child would start to revert after a couple of weeks.
Anyways I just thought I would leave you a note about this stuff. Maybe it could be of help to you.
Kimberly- Thank you so much for sharing this with me!! I will definitely check it out!
My oldest son started out with a bit of stuttering. He’s 29 yrs old now and has no problems at all! You are doing the right thing and Bracken will be just fine!
Hi Taryn,
It sounds like you guys are handling it just right. I don’t mean to downplay what’s happening, but I think a lot of kids have something they have to overcome. With my daughter, it has been some orthopedic problems and the need for physical therapy. I had speech therapy myself as a child. If it’s helping your little guy already, that’s a wonderful sign! It seems to me that you are handling it with love and wisdom, and that’s just the right way. Big hugs to you and hopes for Bracken’s continued success!
My oldest, Finn, has a pretty bad stuttering problem. Luckily, at 6, the kids are not making fun of him yet. He is super bright and intelligent, but just gets stuck when he is talking.
We were taking him to speech, but our insurance visits ran out. His school is supposed to be helping, but the process is slow.
I spent some time crying about this as well, wondering if I should have acted sooner……
Anyways, I can empathize with you and I know it’s not an easy thing to go through. The progress seems to happen fairly slow, but I think it will happen. We just need to be patient.
Sending warms thoughts from up here in Portland 🙂
My little grandson Levi (age 7) was born with a clef palate which was repaired here in California after his adoption from China when he was 18 months old.. We knew his speech would be affected by the various issues related to the palate such as hearing and word formation involving words that require the tongue to perform certain movements. He has been in speech therapy since age 3 provided by the public schools here in California. My daughter home schools him and two years ago had to join a Charter School (of home schoolers) so that he could continue to receive free speech therapy. He is progressing and his speech is improving but when he is excited sometimes it is difficult to understand exactly what he is trying to say. When he was younger I observed how some other children (for example at a park) react to his attempt at trying to be friendly and it made me feel so sad when they either ignored him because they couldn’t understand him or rejected him for some other reason. Kids can be very cruel to each other at times. He is quite resilient and very friendly and very persistent . We sometimes find him talking to adults (sometimes complete strangers) without any hesitation or shyness so maybe all that rejection made him stronger? He’s been in speech therapy for years now as well as occupational therapy (both from the public school and private) for other developmental issues and all this therapy plus just growing up a bit has really helped him.
All this is to tell you not to expect instant changes — it might take years of therapy to help Bracken. Also, as much as we all tried to make life as normal as possible for Levi somehow he sensed that he was different from other kids and as he reached about age 5 he would vocalize this concept to his parents and grandparents. This was very difficult for all of us to deal with and made us feel sad and unsure of how to help him understand that it’s okay to be different and unique. As a parent or grandparent it is natural to want to protect our little ones and my daughter and son in law have done so much to help Levi develop his unique talents and interests.
I’m sending my best thoughts to you to encourage you to be persistent and follow through with speech therapy for Bracken. Sometimes it may feel like a long road ahead but you will soon see small improvements especially if you practice with him what he’s been learning during therapy.
Sending love to your beautiful, Amazing family. You are on the right way and Bracken is loved beyond measure, this is the most important thing for him, you are doing a great job mama! 🙂
I am sure he will develop all his language skills and grow well.
Hugs from Italy, Daniela
Taryn you are a good mama …and Jeff a great Dad.. ya’ll are doing what you need to help Bracken…
I remember the morning after I met with my daughter’s counselor and teachers at her school about her speech issues… I sat in my car and cried and cried… just knew it was all my fault..but you know what … in the end its all about my daughter …and do what is best for her… and I did… by the time she was in 3 grade I think she exit out of speech therapy at school..
She and I were truly blessed to have such good teachers and therapist within our city school system…
So keep on doing what your doing… know that he will improve …and just love him with all your heart..
Hugs fromTN
I’ve definitely noticed a leap in his language skills. This is exciting news! So proud of Bracken – he’s an amazing little person 🙂
All the best Bracken! Who knows, maybe he’ll be an amazing speech therapist himself one day.
Oh Taryn, my heart goes out to Bracken and you! It is very hard to stand by and watch your child having issues that are totally out of your control. I understand how you feel, and the emotions that are going through you right now, as my son and I have gone through this.
What I can tell you from experience, is that you are doing everything right! You are helping him through therapy, which you have gotten to very early. You are keeping him encouraged to promote more speech skills. Most importantly though, you are supporting him through your translations to others. This one thing is more important than all others combined. This allows him to communicate to his outside world! I have done that for my son for the last 24 years. Now, my sons diagnosis is much different than Bracken’s. His is part of a syndrome. So his speech impediment was extremely severe and not expected to improve much, due to muscularity issues.
What is important, is for you not to beat yourself up, and to allow yourself to cry. Watching your child struggle with normal life is hard, but when an additional issue like speech comes up, it devastates a mother, because we all want what is best for our children. No one wants their child to have to deal with hardship!
Hang in there, be strong, but also cry, allow yourself that. If you ever just need to talk with someone about it, I know we do not know each other like neighbors do, but my door is always open for you and Bracken. You see, I had someone to talk to , and I guess, this is my way of paying it forward.
Best wishes always….Christina
Hi Taryn, you are wonderful, an inspiration, and I am sure you will do an amazing job of helping Bracken to communicate. Much love to you
I’m glad you are seeing progress! I just wrote today about how my boys are having a hard time with reading. I love them for who they are, but still the frusteration with mastering this important skill keeps me up at night. I hope Bracken can overcome this hurdle soon enough. Growing up in the wonderful environment you provide is going to give him many stories to share as he grows!
The twins have speech delays (and Frog Boy has gross motor delays due to his CP). We use the Hearing and Speech center and EC Cares. They have been amazing. We are lucky to live somewhere with easy access to top notch therapy. I understand how you can feel like a translator sometimes. I’ve spent quite a while explaining that things like ‘ishas’ meant lizard or ‘unga’ meant oranges.
The speech therapy will pay off. We are seeing results one word at a time.
Your blog is something we read and look at every morning. The twins love pointing out photos of Bracken. They call him ‘Buberry Baby’ <3
Hello,
Just wanted to let you know that my daughter, now 9, had similar speech issues, and I too had to do a lot of translating. Luckily, she has improved so much and speech is rarely an issue now. We received early intervention through the school district. She started speech therapy at 3 years old and was exited out of the program in 2nd grade. The speech therapy was totally free. You are probably already aware of this, but wanted to pass on just in case you did not know of this service. I know you plan to homeschool, but I’m sure this program is available to all preschoolers. My daughter also has dyslexia and I’m sure the two are related. She is also so smart and witty and I adore her, but I have definitely had to be her biggest supporter. It sounds like you are on the right path, good job!